Bodily Autonomy Protects Kids From Sexual Abuse: Here's How to Teach It

Every year, more than 60,000 cases of child sex abuse are reported--and that accounts for only a third of the total estimated cases. It's no wonder we parents are so paranoid about strangers, sexualization, and the way people perceive our children's clothing.

The problem is that we parents often allow our emotions to trump our reason. We whip ourselves into a frenzy about strangers, when research tells us that 90% of children are abused by people they know. Teaching children about stranger danger won't work. Instead, children need early and frequent lessons in bodily autonomy. Here's what we're doing to protect our daughter from sexual abuse.

Feminism Has an Ageism Problem

At 34, I'm still a year shy of no longer being considered a "young adult" in demographic polls. And yet I'm already experiencing a shift. I find that I have to spend a lot more time working to be relevant. As a writer, my paycheck depends on it. The death knell for my coolness finally sounded a few weeks ago, when I had to look up what the young people mean when they say they're doing or thinking something "low key."

It's happened. I am no longer young and cool (though, to be fair, I have never been cool). On top of that, I'm a mom. That's a double dose of irrelevance as far as young people are concerned. I'm not bothered by this. We all have to get old. I'd rather get old than get dead. Lately, though, I find myself wishing that young feminists would stop treating me like I'm already dead.

We need to talk about feminism's ageism problem.

It's Anti-Feminist to Shame the Parents in the Video of Kids Crashing the BBC Interview

Earlier this week, a hilarious video of two kids crashing their dad's BBC interview began making the rounds on my Facebook. Since Jeff and I both often work from home--often without childcare--it seemed like a window into our future. Being interrupted by children on live TV is probably near the top of every working parent's list of worst nightmares. We both found comfort in the sympathy most people seemed to feel for the two parents in the video.

The sympathy and amusement didn't last long. Within a day or two, people in my newsfeed started calling the video sexist. New Statesman published a ridiculous article calling the video "patriarchy in a nutshell." Because apparently all feminists have time to do is criticize other women and their parenting.

Before You Meet the New Baby: 10 Tips for Visiting New Parents

I love babies. When my friends have babies, I have to take deep breaths to calm myself before I meet the adorable little human larva. I understand the inclination to rush right over when a loved one has a baby. It comes from a place of compassion and humanity, and when dealing with harried, exhausted, struggling new parents, rushing right over can be a blessing.

Visit under the wrong circumstances, though, and you'll be lucky if the new parents invite you back.
No two families are alike, so defer to what your friends tell you. Not sure how to be a useful visitor? Follow these guidelines.

If you want to know a little bit more about newborns and what new parents are likely experiencing, click here.

A Guide to Effective Activism When Activism Becomes Fashionable

For the first time in my life, activism is cool. Donald Trump may indeed be making America great again--by forcing white people to realize how prevalent racism is, by getting people who had no problem with surveillance under President Obama to assert a right to privacy, by impelling people to rise up and proclaim that dissent is indeed patriotic. For most of my life, I felt like my interest in changing the world made me a weirdo. Now, you have to be engaged to be cool.

It's wonderful. It's a chance to spur real change in this country. But activism as a trend can become activism as style instead of substance. That doesn't have to happen. Here's how to make your activism meaningful, whether you've been doing it for 30 years or 30 days.

The Tyranny of the Good Mother: How Our Beliefs About Motherhood Control Women

When I was three years old, I decided I had had enough of life as a mere mortal. The bedtimes, the grueling chore load, the parents who just didn't understand the oppression of life at three...it was all too much.

I needed an upgrade, and that's why I became the Virgin Mary. I donned a veil, demanded to be addressed as Mary, and regaled my parents with tales of the birth of my son, our lord and savior.

It was the last time I was widely regarded as a good mother. Because once a woman becomes a real mother, everyone--even self-styled feminists--is eager to tell her the many ways she is failing.

7 Ways Social Justice Organizations Unintentionally Exclude Mothers

Many social justice organizations continue to presume that a child-free, unencumbered activist is the default--and perhaps the ideal. It's why no one bats an eye when meetings last five hours, protests are dangerous, and spaces are hostile to children. You can't have a diverse, intersectional organization that excludes mothers. Exclusionary practices hurt marginalized mothers, particularly poor ones, the hardest.

Eighty-one percent of women eventually become mothers. So as I've repeatedly hammered in this blog, if you care about women, you need to care about mothers. Most social justice organizations don't intentionally exclude mothers. But as any caring activists should know, if you're not being intentionally inclusive, you're keeping people out.

Addressing the many unintentional ways social justice organizations exclude mothers makes activism accessible to a much broader coalition. That means more effective movements and more rapid change.