Feminism Has an Ageism Problem

At 34, I'm still a year shy of no longer being considered a "young adult" in demographic polls. And yet I'm already experiencing a shift. I find that I have to spend a lot more time working to be relevant. As a writer, my paycheck depends on it. The death knell for my coolness finally sounded a few weeks ago, when I had to look up what the young people mean when they say they're doing or thinking something "low key."

It's happened. I am no longer young and cool (though, to be fair, I have never been cool). On top of that, I'm a mom. That's a double dose of irrelevance as far as young people are concerned. I'm not bothered by this. We all have to get old. I'd rather get old than get dead. Lately, though, I find myself wishing that young feminists would stop treating me like I'm already dead.

We need to talk about feminism's ageism problem.

Why Doesn't the Feminist Movement Care About Mothers?

Last week, a jury awarded $16 million dollars to a woman who was sexually assaulted in a hospital.

It's probably the biggest news in reproductive rights all year, and a huge victory for advocates of sexual assault survivors. But you won't see anything about it on feminist blogs. And you'll probably even see some feminist women downplaying the verdict's importance.

Why? Because the woman in question was giving birth, and the people who assaulted her were nurses. You see, the feminist movement simply does not care about pregnant and laboring women, nor about mothers. Even though more than 80% of women are mothers. Even though misogynists constantly tout motherhood as a fair basis for inequality. Even though pregnant women and mothers are far more likely to experience violence, discrimination, and virtually all forms of oppression.

Why is this? Because Third Wave Feminism operates a lot more like a cool kids' clique than a meaningful social movement. Perhaps it's because much of feminism has focused on helping women avoid motherhood. Maybe it's because feminism is primarily a young movement, and mothers remind young feminists of their hopelessly uncool parents. Since so many feminists are young, maybe they just haven't thought about how motherhood affects women.

Whatever the explanation, and there are many, my pregnancy has taught me that the mainstream feminist movement would prefer to pretend mothers don't exist. Even when that means projecting misogyny onto mothers.