My husband and I are
hyphenating our baby's last name. A couple of years ago, I
arrived at what I thought was a great solution to the ongoing
feminist baby name debate. My way hasn't caught on, though, so
this seems like the best option.
Thing is, when
you're pregnant, your choices suddenly become matters of public
consumption. People who will never meet my baby, who have no
investment in me or in my family, have very strong feelings about
what Jeff and I should name our child. Reactions to our announcement
have ranged from crying (yes, seriously) to threats of violence. I am
a terrible monster who is destroying the world, as are thousands of
other feminist men and women who choose to share both of their family
names with their offspring.
Here's the thing: if
you are not pushing my child out of your vagina, paying the full
costs of raising my child through the age of 18, or offering to
provide us with 24/7 childcare, you get no say in what our baby is
named. If you want to name a baby, have your own.
Don't like my baby's
name? That's cool. I'm sure there's something I don't like about you
or your name. We're all entitled to our opinions. Basic human decency
requires us to keep hurtful opinions to ourselves, and to remain
silent on issues that do not affect us.
