It happens every year. Parents' online groups erupt in controversy over Halloween costumes. On one side are people of color and their allies, pleading with white parents to please not dress their kids in black face, please not turn someone else's race or culture into a farce, and please listen to those of us trying to teach our kids to respect other cultures. On the other side are parents who insist that telling their kid not to dress like Moana, an Indian, or a black person will ruin their childhood.
Halloween is supposed to be fun. I understand why white parents want to avoid thinking about thorny cultural issues. In a sexist society, most mothers already shoulder a massive burden of parenting labor. So the burden of assessing whether a costume is appropriate can feel like one more unreasonable demand. If you've already selected the costume, hearing that it's offensive and wrong can be a demoralizing addition to an already crushing to-do list.
Parenting is hard. It demands that we reach beyond the easy choice to make decisions that help our kids become excellent people. It's easy to let a child wear a culturally appropriative costume--just as it's easy to feed them a diet of candy, park them in front of the television all day, and give in every time they throw a tantrum.
But it's not right.
We need to dispense, once and for all, with these weak excuses for letting our kids dress in ways that hurt others.
